Getting By
by Anguirus111
Summary: With her friend's death, 13 year old Sarah Jane Smith is finding it difficult to cope with the loss.  She needs closure, she needs help, she needs a friend.  And in her time of need, one came.
1. My name is Sarah Jane

Andrea was dead.

Sarah Jane was not.

A friend died.

Another lived.

The universe could be so cruel at times.

_Why did she have to die?_

_Why did I survive?_

_What do I do now?_

These thoughts and more echoed through the young mind of Sarah Jane Smith. She had just witnessed her only constant companion and friend in life fall to her death and drown when the two had been where they shouldn't. That alone made it bad, but what it made worse was that Sarah Jane had known beforehand that something bad was going to happen. That girl who had come and gone in a second, that Maria Jackson, had told them not to go onto the pier; that Sarah Jane was going to die if they went. Andrea had written her off as crazy, but she had her doubts, doubts she should've acted on but didn't. She had succumbed to the peer pressure from her friend and the two had ventured onto the pier. So wrapped up in the girl's words as they wandered down the pier she had failed to notice where Andrea was walking. And then she was gone, dangling over the water where Sarah Jane was unable to reach her. Then Andrea fell and an image would become forever burned into the young girl's mind.

That had been three weeks ago and Sarah Jane hadn't spoken once since then. Even after the investigation had concluded she wasn't at fault for Andrea's death it had done little to ease her pain and she continued her silent rebellion to ever get past what had happened. Her parents had been accepting of her decision at first but by the second week they were getting concerned and sent her to the best psychologists in the country. By the third week they were getting, to their deep desire not to, fed up with her attitude. They were seriously considering shipping her off to a boarding school to force her into a situation where she would have to talk and even though she'd hate them for awhile, it'd be better for her in the long run. They were about to start looking up schools when a new name had popped up in the field of psychoanalysis.

This newcomer didn't even seem to have a name yet he had appeared virtually overnight with an incredible list of former clientele. Sarah Jane's parents weren't even sure if contacting him was worth it when to their surprise, he contacted them. He had heard Sarah Jane's story and was willing to help, for free no less, for reasons he wouldn't reveal. With a 'why not?' her parents had taken her to meet this man at 76 Trotters Lane. A strange place to be sure given that it was a scrapyard but the parents were desperate to see Sarah Jane get well and were willing to shrug it off for now. They entered into the building in the yard that featured one central room with extensive mahogany bookshelves and plush chairs everywhere. The place would've been straight out of the Victorian Era were it not for a massive central device and column existing in nearly the dead center of the room with huge metal supports emerging from it and into the room proper. Steampunk meets Victorian if anyone knew what the term Steampunk meant in this timeframe. Her parents vanished for a few moments and spoke with someone out of sight as Sarah Jane sat in one of the extremely comfortable chairs and looked around a little intimidated by the surroundings. Her parents returned to her, gave her change for a payphone and promised to be back soon for her and then she was all alone.

Save for her enigmatic psychologist whom she could hear working behind her but had yet to make an actual appearance. The individual continued tinkering with whatever it was they were toying with that she couldn't see and then a strange ethereal light shone behind her as a cranking noise was heard and then it suddenly stopped. Looking around with slight trepidation, she heard footsteps approaching and curled up slightly in fear when a man appeared and her feelings almost seemed to go away. The man was dressed in an old Victorian suit with nearly shoulder length curly hair. He was holding a cup of tea and a book in his hand and he moved past the desk and sat down in his chair before setting the teacup down on the table and holding the book in his hands before turning and looking calmly at Sarah Jane Smith. Sarah Jane looked back at him with her knees tucked in closely to her chin still not entirely sure what to make of him when the man smiled an extremely disarming smile.

"Hello Sarah Jane," said the man softly before taking a sip of his tea. Despite the aura of calm he seemed to project, Sarah Jane still refused to give in easily and didn't respond to him. To her surprise the man didn't try to coax a response out of her and merely opened the book he had with him and began silently reading it. The girl was understandably shocked at the man's actions, all her other psychologists had constantly tried to coax her into talking and then began to become frustrated when she didn't. But this man did not seem to care if she talked her not. Evidently he was more than willing to sit out this entire session in dead silence. Well that was fine by her. She didn't want to speak anyway so it served him right. Besides, it would be only a matter of time before he started speaking and she would wait it out. Her patience was greater than his, she was sure of it.

Time passed…

The man was still reading his book more than a half hour later and already Sarah Jane's 'renowned' patience was beginning to wear thin. She had begun glaring daggers at him but the man seemed impervious, and oblivious, to them as he calmly turned yet another page in his book. With every page she was doing her best not to yell at him but when he took another absent minded sip of his tea only to find the cup completely empty, she'd had enough.

"Damnit why won't you talk to me!" she shouted at him. The Doctor was so startled he dropped his book onto the floor and quickly reached over to pick it up before the spine was irreversibly damaged.

"Sarah Jane," he said shocked while patting down the book. "Such language!"

The girl growled at him as the man laughed.

"You needn't worry about your parents, that language will just be our little secret," said the man still chuckling as if enjoying some joke by himself. "I must admit that I'm surprised you managed to stay as silent for as long as you did. My…'knowledge' of you was of a talkative energetic young woman, not a silent brooder."

This man's infectious attitude was beginning to get on her nerves.

"What do you want?" she hissed anxious to get down to it. She'd spoken, she admitted that, but she wasn't about to let this man get the satisfaction out of that fact.

"Good question, I don't know," the man admitted leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands behind his head. "I guess I'd want a tall ship and a star to steer her by. Provided that ship actually worked right, didn't break down, or put you where you didn't want to be. Yes that sounds nice."

The man was nodding absently to himself with a grin on his face as one thought echoed through her head.

_This person is crazy_.

The man suddenly sat up and looked at her.

"I am not!" he insisted. "Eccentric perhaps, crazy never."

Sarah Jane reared back into her chair in shock.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" she demanded. The man looked off into the distance and blinked as if considering the answer himself.

"I'm a psychologist," the man apparently decided. "And I can read you like an open book."

"I'll bet," said Sarah Jane not buying a word of it. The man sighed.

"Alright I'm psychic," he admitted finally. Sarah Jane rolled her eyes at that before her eyes settled on the book.

"And just what did you find more interesting than me?" she inquired wanting to get her mind off of this nutcase.

"_The Time Machine_ by H.G. Wells," he said holding it up. "Ever read it?"

"I don't read about impossible things," Sarah Jane stated coldly. "Time travel is impossible and if it weren't then Andrea wouldn't be dead, I would be."

The man sighed to Sarah Jane's satisfaction before looking at her with a look that surprised her. It was not the look of an energetic man but a look of a man wise beyond his years.

"Sarah Jane, time travel is not the universal problem solver that you might think it is," he stated. "Things happen for a reason and nothing, not even time travel, can make them 'right'."

Sarah Jane immediately stood up at that. "But that girl Maria said…"

The man held up his hand to stop her before she got any further with that statement.

"And here you are still alive," he stated firmly. "Despite all that may or may not have happened with that girl's statements, what she said still played out the same."

"And how would you know?" Sarah Jane shot back with pure fury in her voice. This impossible conversation was only beginning to make her more upset and she was beyond fury at this man for making her reveal these innermost thoughts.

"I just do," said the man lacing his fingers in front of his face and looking at her. "I've made mistakes like you have, mistakes that you wish you could go back and change, but you can't. You just have to accept them and move on because if you don't…the shame, the guilt, will eat you alive."

Sarah Jane considered the words the man had said. He certainly seemed to believe in them, as if they were not an attempt to force her to change her opinion.

"Then I wish I were dead," she affirmed. The man watched her passively with a look that seemed to bore right through her head and her soul.

"And what gives you the right to say that?" he asked genuinely curious.

"It's my life," Sarah Jane pointed out. The man paused at that making the girl wonder if she had said something wrong.

"What about her life?" asked the man finally. Sarah Jane blinked at that.

"Whose life?" she asked cautiously.

"Andrea's," the man clarified.

That word left a giant pit in her stomach to the point that she didn't even know how to respond to that statement.

"If you die, then her memory dies with you," the man decreed. "Because if you died and everyone that knew you were to vanish, then how would anyone know that you ever existed? If you were to die then what life Andrea had would have been meaningless."

Sarah Jane didn't have an answer to that instead she repeated what this man had said to her earlier.

"And what gives you the right to say that?" she declared. The man leaned forward as if to share some hidden secret with her.

"Because I lost my friend too," he admitted. "I tried to get him to give me his hand but he refused. Now he's gone and I have to go on living life without him. I tried to help him, I tried to save him, but now it's too late for either. So you have to realize Sarah Jane that you are not alone when it comes to dealing with the loss of a friend. I can't save my friend and neither can you save Andrea. It's just a fact that we have to come to live with."

He then sat back in his chair and watched as she digested all of the information that he had just laid on her.

"What kind of a psychologist are you?" the girl asked completely bewildered.

"The best," answered the man with a wide self-assured grin. Sarah Jane tried to formulate a response to his statements but instead unintelligent gibberish escaped her mouth.

"Bwuh," was the best she could come up with as the man laughed.

"I'm afraid that's not any language that I'm familiar with and I know quite a few," he chuckled mischievously. "At any rate…"

"What kind of a friend did you have?" said Sarah Jane slightly disgusted. "What kind of person would refuse help?"

The man shrugged. "He was who he was. But he'll live on, in here. Just like Andrea will live on in there."

The man used both of his thumbs to poke his chest before pointing at Sarah Jane's. The girl looked away ashamed and then upset.

"That's just what I need," she stated bitterly. "The guilt that never goes away."

"Don't think of it that way," said the man shaking his head. "Use those feelings you have for something productive, something positive. If your friend's memory is the rationale behind those actions then they've truly never died."

Sarah Jane soaked all of that in, even though she wanted to resist his words. Something about this man… It was all so confusing.

"Besides," the man continued as a glow seemed to cover his eyes and a broad smile covered his face. "There is so much to see out there than you can possibly imagine. Worlds of adventure are waiting right outside those doors because Shakespeare was right 'there are more things of Heaven and Earth, Horatio, then are dreamt of in your philosophy'. You just have to make that first step towards finding them and once you do you'll have been glad to have taken the journey in the first place."

Sarah Jane was, to her dismay, beginning to feel the warmth that his man was putting off into the air around him.

"You're an uncommon man," she said despite herself. The man smiled even broader.

"I've been called worse," he admitted before getting up and walking around the desk and holding out his hand. "Now come on I have something to show you."

Sarah Jane looked at his hand reluctantly. "You know I may be young but I'm not naïve."

"And you shouldn't be," the man agreed. "But believe me when I say that what I'm about to show you is worth it."

The girl looked at his hand and then up at the man whose expression had softened somewhat. She reached out with her hand and he helped her up before leading to the door to the outside. But before they reached them, she stopped.

"What is it Sarah Jane?" asked the man in that concerned voice of his. Sarah Jane looked at the doors before up at him.

"I'm not going to see a scrapyard when I walk out those doors am I?" she stated. The man gave her a brief grin.

"No, it's better!" he said pleased as he pushed open the door and the two stepped outside into the light.

"My God…," said Sarah Jane in stunned silence at the sight that greeted her.

Time passed…

The man and the girl…the young woman, walked through the trees of silver in a forest that looked like it was burning thanks to the rising of a second sun in the distance. Mountains were nearby and red grass was visibly everywhere while in the distance a massive globe could be seen encasing what looked to be an old yet fantastically mesmerizing city.

"It's beautiful," said Sarah Jane as she gingerly held one of the silver leaves in her hands, too scared to even damage it any way.

"I had a feeling you would think so," said the man pleased. Bringing her here was a risk on both her part and his, but he knew in his hearts that it was the right thing to do. That she was having the reaction that she was only further proved the inner strength he knew she possessed that would become so vital for her and others in the future.

"Is-is this your home?" inquired the young woman looking around at the place. If this was her home she didn't see how she would ever leave.

"I don't really have a home Sarah Jane, I just…travel," admitted the man as a wave of loneliness passed over him and he put his hands into his pant pockets. He then saw Sarah Jane looking at him with a sympathetic look on her face like she could relate, especially after the loss of Andrea.

"But it's not all bad," said the man putting on a smile. "I meet people from time to time and we travel together and have adventures. For example one individual I traveled with was a real Time Warrior and never once backed down from the ever present Hand of Fear."

Sarah Jane looked at him confused. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know," the man admitted. In the distance an alarm was heard coming from the city.

"Is that a…Cloister Bell?" inquired Sarah Jane perplexed looking at the massive dome. The man looked at the city and then the skies with a feeling of dread and alarm.

"It's time to go Sarah Jane," he said hurriedly walking towards her. The young woman looked up as the weather seemed to almost shift unexpectedly as a cold wind began blowing and storm clouds gathered on the horizon.

"But I just got-," she began when the man kneeled in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"I know but there's no more time left," he said looking straight into her eyes. "Sarah Jane Smith, I just wanted to thank you for the years of friendship you have given me and I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Sarah Jane blinked at his statement, it sounded like the final statement of a dead man.

"In case we never meet again," said the man as he hugged her tight. The young woman was beyond words at this.

"I just wish you'd be able to remember this," the man admitted. The young woman pulled away from him.

"What does that mean?" she demanded.

"It means that you aren't going to remember anything about our encounter, just that you came to grips with Andrea's passing," explained the man getting up and cracking his knuckles.

"What gives you the right to…," began Sarah Jane like she had before. The man looked at her dismissively.

"Sarah Jane we both know I have that right," he said simply. "Now go and live a long and fulfilling life and help as many people as you can because one day I am going to need that help."

"And you think I needed you to tell me that?" complained Sarah Jane bitterly as tears threatened to form in her eyes.

"No," admitted the man. "But there comes a time in all of our lives when we need that occasional push in the right direction. Goodbye Sarah Jane, I promise I'll never forget you for as long as I live."

The young woman was going to respond when he slammed his left thumb against her forehead and her soul seemed to separate from her body as everything went to white.

_RING RING RING RING RING_

Sarah Jane Smith snapped awake alone in her bed and looked around confused. Her bedside alarm clock was going off and so she immediately hit the stop button and yawned to herself. She tried to remember how she had gotten into bed but found that she couldn't, in fact the past several hours were a complete blur. A knock at her door instantly snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Morning dear, are you going to be ready for school?" asked her mother cautiously. Sarah Jane thought about it for a few moments and nodded her head.

"Yes, I'll be out shortly," she decided. Her mother gave a brief smile and closed the door behind her as Sarah Jane once more tried to recall just what that shrink had said to her about the loss of Andrea that had so turned her around. But still coming up with nothing she realized she could not dwell on it much longer or be late for class. She threw back the curtains keeping the sunlight out and it flooded the room. She was about to go and get washed up when a bright object shone in the room quickly getting her attention. Instantly bewildered and confused as to what she was doing it, she walked over to her dresser and moved her hairbrush and hair band aside to reveal a foreign object sitting on her dresser.

It was a single silver leaf sitting atop a book, _The Time Machine_ by H.G. Wells.

Carefully picking up the book with the leaf on it, she carefully rubbed her fingers along the leaf's fine edges before looking over at the shining window. The young Sarah Jane Smith walked over to it and looked at the sunrise once more and then down at the leaf before a single thought occurred to her. She didn't know where it had come from or what it meant, but she felt compelled to say it aloud regardless.

"Thank you Doctor," she said in gratitude and then turned her back on the window, ready to live her life once more. Andrea was gone she knew that, but as long as she never forgot her and promised to herself that the circumstances that befell her would never happen to anyone again, her friend would live forever. Sarah Jane Smith would see to that, she knew it was her calling, to help people in need and she would do it until the day she died.

Down on the street, amongst the countless police boxes that adorned the sidewalks, one in particular, a blue box vanished into the sunlight.

A new day was dawning for a world.

For another, dusk was already setting on a day long since past.

The sun was rising.

A storm was brewing.

A woman would accept the past.

A man would become consumed by his.

Many would be saved.

Countless would perish.

A woman would come to have regrets about the past.

A man would have to come to terms with the sins of his past.

The two would go their separate ways.

Then one day they would meet again and both would find the solace they so desperately needed.

And time would go on, it always did.


	2. Why do we survive?

A/N: This takes place at the very Fifth Doctor's story Planet of Fire. It's just the Doctor alone with his thoughts about his old enemies and more. I'll add a disclaimer here because I don't own Doctor Who, the BBC does and this beginning bit is quote verbatim from that episode that occurred right after Resurrection of the Daleks and right before The Caves of Androzani, Davidson's last serial. Also, I'm adding this as a 'second chapter' to the Sarah Jane story because I really don't feel like making a new story for this and the chapters sort of interrelate.

Time/Space Continuum: The TARDIS roared through the time vortex having just left 1984 Earth behind. But it was one passenger lighter than when it had arrived. Tegan Jovanka, a longtime companion of the Doctor had parted ways with him, utterly appalled by the tremendous loss of life that had occurred at the Daleks hands and even more terrified by the Doctor's actions against them.

"Daleks," commented the Doctor darkly. "I sometimes think those mutated misfits will terrorize the universe for the rest of time."

"Doctor," warned his one remaining companion Turlough. "You're becoming obsessed."

"Yes. Obsessed and depressed," admitted the Doctor trying to let go of his hatred for those creatures.

"Do you miss Tegan?" inquired Turlough trying to get him onto another subject.

"Well we were together a long time," was all the Doctor had to say to that. And he looked at his console deep in thought. For a human, it might take them several moments to register just one thought but for a Time Lord, one second was more than a lifetime.

_I hate the Daleks_.

Hatred, the most primal of the emotions besides fear. The Doctor knew it had no practical applications. He had seen brothers kill brothers, worlds destroy worlds, and worse all because hatred had ruled when cooler heads should have prevailed.

And hatred was all that the Daleks were. They did not, could not, love, show pity, or have anything remotely resembling remorse. When they encountered anyone, they killed them, or exploited them and then killed them. He had seen worlds with species just beginning to show promising levels of sentience only become eradicated at their protuberances. He had seen civilized worlds that were just beginning to evolve and show promise in the areas of social reform and space travel wiped out just the same. And the Doctor had watched as advanced civilizations that had contributed greatly to the betterment of the universe at large become utterly decimated by the cyborgs.

The Doctor had seen men, women, and children all beg for mercy as the Daleks didn't even give it a second thought to their pleas and with a cry and a shot made them loose their physical ties to the universe. The elderly, the disabled, the rich, the poor, all gone under their relentless might leaving only a lifeless husk of a body and a decimated planet to show for it. Then when there was a bright spot and races that had long feuded finally came together to ally against the Daleks, their newfound alliance only served to prolong the inevitable, resulting in their complete and utter destruction.

But the Daleks were not the final product of natural evolution. No, something that evil could not just be created by the universe, it had to be created by a man and the Daleks were the ultimate work of a madman.

_I hate Davros_.

A scientist, just like the Doctor, Davros had once been a good person, or so the Doctor assumed. He had helped to prolong life, to help his people during a time of crisis, when nuclear bombs were dropping left and right he had fought to keep the scientific community intact and churning out newer and newer medical advances.

But time took its toll and he slowly began becoming more and more corrupt. His medical advancements became newer and newer torture devices. His work in genetics went from improving cell structures to the ultimate form of Kaled evolution. He had created the Daleks because he thought it was the right thing to do. That only when everyone was under the oppressive reign of the Daleks with him as the leader would there be peace in the galaxy. But evil rarely could coexist with evil and so it was no surprise to the Doctor that the Daleks destroyed him. Only he didn't die then and there. Instead he survived and continued to wreak havoc on the universe. In the end his evil mechanisms got to him when the Movellan bio-weapon designed to destroy the Daleks attacked Davros as well. But the Doctor somehow knew he'd be back and he'd have to be stopped once more.

But the Daleks and Davros wouldn't accomplish half the things they did if someone would stand up and stop them. As the saying went, 'evil will flourish when good men do nothing'. And the only real force out there that could possibly put an end to them was just more than content to stand by and watch them continue their path of destruction unabated.

_I hate the Time Lords_.

The most powerful race in existence, thousands of years old, with technology beyond the scope of any living being and yet only more than content to disassociate themselves with the universe at large. Pompous arrogant fools, all of them. They sat in their cushy chairs back on Gallifrey willfully ignorant of all the evils going on in the galaxy and it did not bother them one bit how many lives and worlds the Daleks had claimed as they spread across the universe like a plague. Every time the Doctor had tried to warn them about the danger they posed, they had just brushed it off as if it was beneath their limited patience. Now they were still going on oblivious to the fact that the Daleks had tried to use a copy of the Doctor to try and wipe them out so they could conquer Gallifrey. Though the Doctor knew he had to tell his people about this change in the Daleks plans, he still had the lingering voice telling him he shouldn't even bother because they wouldn't care. The Time Lords were just that arrogant and it frustrated him to no end. How had he come from these people? The Doctor didn't know and was too afraid to find out. Even the Master was better than them though not by much. At least he knew of the evils that existed in the universe, it was just too bad that he was one of them.

But there was one man worse than all of them put together. There was one man who was worse than the Daleks, Davros, the Time Lords, and the Master all put together. One man to whom the Doctor hated with every fiber in his being. This man had time and time again clashed against these evil monstrosities. He had seen them wipe out countless civilizations and enslave entire races. A man who should never have had any reason to believe that the Daleks could actually be a force of good in the universe, that they were nothing but pure engines of evil. And every time he failed to put a stop to their actions under some delusion of morality, they only went and did things even worse than before. And yet even after this man had seen the Daleks die, had seen Davros die, he was still plagued with guilt that there could have been some other option that didn't involve so many deaths. But he also knew deep down that such ideas were vain hopes, they couldn't change any more than he could. They would kill, he would pity, the cycle would continue. He'd failed to destroy them at the birth, he'd failed to kill their creator, he'd failed to stop their rampage; he'd failed everyone. And yet he continued to go on living one day after the next pretending like it didn't affect him when deep down he hurt more than life itself.

_I hate myself._

And then Chameleon screamed and there was no time left to dwell on such matters as the next crisis arose.

A/N: Basically whipped this up awhile back in a short period of time and finally got around to finishing it just recently. I don't really know what I was thinking, but in Planet of Fire, that look the Doctor gives when he's done talking about the Daleks and Tegan is just so chilling because I think even he knew what was to come. The Time War was only just that, a matter of time. Anyway, flame if you must because chances are your opinions are very much valid as well otherwise enjoy the other Doctor Who fanfics out there.


End file.
